During your life, you encounter people who are transformative. Maybe not immediately, and you might not notice or recognise that they will play an important part in your life right away. But they grow on you and their impact on your life can be long lasting. It might just take a while for you to understand and be grateful for this.
Dave wasn't like that. Don't get me wrong, he was all of the above for me. But I knew upon meeting him that he would be someone I had an affinity with, that he would mean something to me, that here was a special man and character and I liked him immediately. In fact, due to my work situation, I didn't know 'who' he was when I met him. I didn't know he was on the Radio, nor how important he was to the people of Essex. No, to me he was an avuncular, well spoken, thoughtful and very funny man who happened to me my neighbour in a little close just outside Chelmsford (Essex).
Too my surprise and delight, he and his lovely lady Caroline befriended us and we had brilliant evenings discussing so many things, laughing a lot, sharing life histories, eating lovely food and drinking a bottle or two of wine. Both of them were easy to talk to and it was like being out with friends on a warm summer evening, even if it were bitterly cold outside. I enjoyed our evenings so much and like to think that Caroline and Dave weren't bored too much.
As is often the case, life eventually took myself and the family up to the Lincolnshire coast. But Dave still had a place in my heart and mind and when I heard from Caroline that he had passed it had an impact upon me that, to be truthful, is still ongoing now.
Human beings always think we have time; to say the things we want, to express our feelings to those we love and cherish, to tell friends - even if you've not seem them for a while - how important they are to you. Even, to take a pic or two of them - this is the reason why there's no accompanying photo of Dave currently on this page. I only have a few and they're all too blurry to be worthwhile posting (I'll leave you to work out why!).
I liked Dave immensely, loved the way he spoke to people, enfolded people with his warmth, infected them with his humour, and gave them pause for thought with his intelligence and personal philosophy. I was lucky enough to have spoken to him on air more than once and could see why people loved his style, his natural warmth and his talent at bringing people into the conversation and giving them space to be themselves and share their story and journey with the good burghers of Essex.
I've been a (would-be) poet for many decades now and have had some small success. When faced with something that has an emotional impact upon me, my default is to write a poem about it and try to come to terms with it, or at least express how I feel. Some may view this as entirely self-serving and ego driven - but I hope it's not. I hope it is more a search for meaning, for understanding and in time, for acceptance, catharsis.
When I heard that someone I liked and respected so much had gone from the world, making it just a little less wonderful, a poem took shape and I asked Caroline if she would mind me posting it as a mark of personal respect and affection.
Bless her, without asking to read it, she agreed immediately. Brave lady - but then she is having to be brave every day right now and she is in my thoughts daily.
Of course, with such kind permission, I now have to hope it has some quality and that she won't be disappointed when she reads it. If nothing else, it is written with love, deep respect and sadness.
Now, if you're new to my work, please try and read it aloud; you should hear the 'music' within it that way... but be safe and warn others around you before you do so!
Dave, my dear friend, this is for you... I will never forget you...
DISTANT HOME
This won’t be the best poem written We both know that you deserve more Your smile, and that voice! ah so special We all knew what you were here for
That twinkle in eye and your humour would captivate those that you met You touched many lives it is true we thought that you weren’t done quite yet
We loved you I guess, in a quiet way Respected you, bathed in your glow The warmth you gave off was a furnace so why my Dear Friend must you go?
I know that lives end, we all know it It’s written up there in dark stars Yet now, on that day, there'll be flowers dark suits and the darkest of cars
There are tears and I know I have shed some for the loss of you shatters us all I am sure in your heart you were certain we would mourn you when you had the call
We may say our goodbyes to a friend see flowers and people pass by If you’re watching us, smiling and nodding you’ll understand why some then shall cry
I may say my farewell to you here now drive back to my now distant home But know my Dear Friend I’ve not left you In my heart will I carry you home
Bed, Home, Lincs, 0032 Friday 12th December 2025
For Dave
This poem, along with over 100 others, will be included in my 2025 poetry collection 'Windows of Uncertainty' which is due for release in February 2026.