March 2020...

I've been ruminating, as is my wont, on the nature of art and its delicate pursuit. I've been reviewing previous my work, setting out some 'jottings' and ideas for stories that have been milling around in my head, and wondering how art is so important to me, yet so amorphous and intangible when I try to create it myself.

Music, Photography, Poetry and Fiction; I try them all. I love writing lyrics - indeed Keith and I have a few new songs in the making and one of them (at least!) has the potential to be fabulous - and singing and my sessions (over Skype) with the lovely and youthful Donna Kirke @ Legacy Vocal Coaching  are already making some useful changes to my vocal range. I hope that as a result, my vocal performances will improve over time. And at nearly 58, I thought it about time I looked into how to enhance my singing! 

My poetry seems to run without too much interference, I can often find a line or thread running through my head which is the catalyst for a poem to be written. As for stories, ah well I have too many jottings around and too many story ideas that I doubt I'll have time to write them all - and that is even if I don't have more ideas pop into my head!

Photography has taken a bit of a back seat recently due to the other projects ongoing. I have spent many months in recent years focussing on my photography style and technique that I'm happy with my current knowledge and skill level. And where someone might go out and take a photo, I'm more likely to sit down and write a poem instead!

We have a standing joke at the 'Creative Eye Essex' gatherings that we most of us don't consider ourselves as artists. This has evolved into badges sharing the hashtag '#NotAnArtist' (thecreativeyeessex.co.uk or @tceessex on Twitter or on Facebook as @thecreativeyeessex) as we often start our conversations with this throw away line; seeking to be humble and avoid too much criticism (not that TCEE are critical, they are not, but you know what it is like when you have little confidence in your own talents) up front.

So, I seem to be a Jack of all trades and yes, perhaps Master of none. As artistic pursuits go, writing is my main and first love, music second and photography an important third. Yet am I an artist in any of them? I try to produce work that is pleasing, thought provoking and entertaining. I even have a 'fan' in the USA and made a sale via the Amazon store (thanks Carole M!) and I keep writing, keep hoping and just continue to evolve as much as I can.

Yet Art - in all of it's forms - is not easy to pin down and categorise more than the very general. And art is always in the eye, ear or other organ of the beholder. I'm happy with what I do, content that I produce the best I can at that time in my own personal journey and that it does have some intrinsic worth. Yet without an established audience, without a 'following' and without the validation that such gifts would bring, I still feel like an outsider, banging on a door into the world of art and literature but not being noticed and thus the door, with a tantalising glass window in it, allows me to view the party ongoing within, but does not allow me to join it.

Must go, I have finally written a special original story for my next collection of short stories (from one of the many jottings I mentioned earlier), and there's a final one to be edited and polished for inclusion that I've not even started yet!

Stay safe, stay well, keep reading and washing your hands all!

Alan